By: Sivuyile S. Sesi (www.756writing.yolasite.com)
To be cheated of what needs you and depend on you, of what is your own responsibility is carelessness on your own. Its a disappointment to those who rather trusted you.
Its good for a person to know how to deal with the beating of expectations in different situations. For me people have tried to taint the reality of what is in front of my eyes and what I heard to
understand to what my senses can enable to predict and foresee. They had broken handles on what we can do together, no one could cooperate. But the truth deep in me proved right. I truly believe that I need myself in as far as I can see with my eyes and mind, reach out with my arms and heart and words, and walk to any where.
I was opened by Dr Joelien Pretorius when on her last lecture on International Relations second year module with us she surprisingly asked me ” Mr Sesi the man of Peace and Love what do you think of the international relations system? I was caught off guard, I responded “no comment”. I think that’s what opened me in my third year to be commentary in class. With all the difficulty that came the following year I feel that I enjoyed the moments.
As the year 2011 started for my third year at the University of the Western Cape I chosen to give extra focus on my majors, in Language and Communications and Political Studies. As the Political Studies subject is divided into four termly modules, the first two modules in the first semester classes went as normal.
Challenge on the Political Studies classes started on the first term of the second semester. Part of the lectures the lecturer made it to finish with group presentations. With me as I have come to realize I
was not awake or fully aware of the deliberate or intentional common ways people think and act in. I have believed in genuineness of the people. With me he kept on beating expectations. With him there was communication breakdown to the way I was used to on how a professional lectures are run. He took me out of the comfort zone in class. While I was listening to him in class he would just chose me to comment or ask me a question then take me for granted and interrupt me or ignore me afterwards. Or he would ignore me when I raise a hand. It was like I am not doing what was required of me. When I went for consultations I couldn’t prove. Even when I was to smoking dagga, I was doing it in my free time.
For presentations he divided the class into groups but excluded and not assign me to a group and he communicated it unclear. As time goes, in other groups there were shift and changes and as I was
wondering what is going on I thought I would join any group in need of someone or then do the presentation alone.
For presentations on different days the groups were adjudicated by different lecturers from the department. Even thou I felt not part of the class or excluded I knew that it was my right to be in class and have fun. Even though felt I was disrespected on group presentations I would listen and ask questions.
A classmate told me I can join their group they need someone, saying I should just email him my details, prepare my part and send it to him and he will forward it to the group leader. I prepared for the presentation and sent it to him in time.
On the day of our presentation I was unexpectedly excluded. As I was prepared for the presentation I went in front of the class with the group. The team leader then said she was not told that I joined the group so I can’t do the presentation with them. When I told them that a group member was suppose to inform them, they said they were not and the guy said nothing. I was so disappointed and felt betrayed. The lecturer told me I have two choices to sit down or leave the class. That moment that’s when the world stood still but as I have emotional resilience, and in reality wanted him to give me time to present I pulled myself together and calmly took a sit. I had to be rational.
I had some laughs as the group on their presentation used some of the things I said during the year. I am the kind of person who let go of pain easily. The group presentation took the whole period as the last person remaining I couldn’t present that day. The lecturer scheduled another time for the following day.
I came on time and prepared he was not available on the venue. I went to his office and was not available neither. The receptionist called him and he said he was coming. I had to get the presentation done so I waited and he came with someone to adjudicate together. We went to the venue, there were no other students, and I did the presentation. With all the difficulty I finished his module and passed both the semester modules.
In that is when you dealing with people in serious and stressful situations especially if you have history making you not to trust them, you need to be patient and not just jump into conclusions, even more when you using technology. Otherwise you will go through unnecessary paranoia, even starting to think everything is just about you.
Relax or you will regret it. All can be just happening in your head and end up pointing fingers and accusing others. This is one of the reason that makes the very busy people prefer to have more time alone or in small circles. That gives time to think things through. Other people believe that the less people you deal with the less drama in your life.
No body had time for me. I did not expect what happened in my third year. Through all I did not give up I remained committed and gave more.
As it may seem planned, now I sit and think even thou I was taken for granted, it was my destiny. I take the moments as a gift. What a ride it was. I am still looking forward to a great future.